Unseen

When my boys look at me, they do not see the 10 extra pounds I need to lose. They do not see the wrinkle between my eyes that drives me crazy.  They don't notice that my hair is rarely curled and I rarely have make-up on.  My boys think I am perfect even when I go out in public in clothes that don't match.  I love them for seeing me for who I am.  As much as my appearance goes unnoticed, so does much of my daily life.  They will never know all the sleepless nights I spent worrying about them.  They will never know about all the tears shed after dropping them off at preschool (and kindergarten, and 1'st grade).  They will never know about the countless hours spent prior to holidays/birthdays trying to make them memorable. When baking cookies I appear to be having a blast when what I'm really thinking about is that one is playing in flour, one cracked an egg on the counter and they are both covered head to toe in peanut butter.  They will never know the panic felt when driving them to the ER in the middle of the night.  They will never know the shear overwhelming joy/happiness I feel when I look at their smiling/laughing faces.  So much of my life goes unseen. I know my little boys will grow up to be incredible men and I want to watch every minute that I can of their little lives.  I wouldn't trade being a mama for anything in the world.